On a humble note, I have heard a lot of people praise my oration- teachers, colleagues & my brothers in high school & college. Hilariously, an astrologer did the same after sifting through my birth chart (जन्म कुंडली) when I reluctantly sat in front of him without uttering a single word for 20 minutes or so. I do know, however, that my writing skills are not that good. That bothers me a lot because I want to write just the way I speak. Nevertheless, penning some of these relentless thoughts, storming my brain, was necessary otherwise they might fade away. Writing them down was necessary because it is often quoted that voices could be suppressed but thoughts could not be & we are well aware of the socio-political situation perpetuating in our country.
It was around the beginning of monsoon, last year, that I began writing articles for publication in various law & multidisciplinary journals across our country. Of course, it has not been long enough in terms of experience but I have came across many harsh lessons, hopefully, with many more on the horizon. Be it a continous chain of mails rejecting your articles, be it a storm of thoughts doubting your ability, or, be it the desire to stop it all and run back to your delusional world where comfort prevails, where the paradox of reputation prevails. These mails of rejection, though respectful, are truly disheartening at times, as if your hard work & effort had nothing but gone in vain, as if you were not good enough. On top of that if you are suffering with anger issues, like I do, then god bless you folks. Better start listening to Hallelujah’s Jeff Buckley version or reading the principles of buddhism or भगवद् गीता . You might even start assuming yourself as the protagonist in The Smiths‘ ‘Heaven knows I’m Miserable now’ or the one in the movie ‘तारे ज़मीन पर‘. It would only worsen the situation. So, It is necessary to stop thinking too much and realize that there is, always, a room for improvement. If you do not have a good writing ability, you might as well have it given that you write more frequently. Sometimes, instead of being histrionics dramatizing our lives, we should rather live a modest life.
Months back, while reading Gulzar‘s ‘मेरा ख़्याल है’, I became even more adamant in my views which were in conformity with his thoughts. Perhaps there are millions with the same thought so it would be better calling Gulzar’s ‘मेरा ख़्याल है’ as ‘बहुतों का ख़्याल है’. The reason why I made this blog was, firstly, to write more frequently and secondly, to write what I was willing to instead of what a Journal or ‘Call for Paper’ was necessarily asking me to. Writing a couple of articles sporadically and getting them published here and there could seem attractive on your CV, but it could never be a manifestation to one’s capability. In words of Gulzar:
जब धान की ढेरी लगती है, तो पता चलता है कि पिछले साल में कितना मेंह बरसा, कितनी धूप खिलीरात पश्मीने की- गुलज़ार